Posts Tagged ‘Pop Culture’

Conservatives Beware–You May Be In Over Your Head On This!

If you are one of those racist, Fox News-watching, Halliburton-loving, tea-bagging, right-wing extremists, you are probably too academically deficient to comprehend the sheer genius contained herein.  But read on, my red-necked friends, you might learn something.

Methane contributes significantly to global warming.

I have no supportive data on that, but, when I saw him recently at the “Happy Endings Day Spa”, Al Gore assured me that the assertion is true. (For the record, I was only there for a facial.) Intrigued, I asked the distinguished former Vice President for some insights on how we can, once and for all, put an end to the imminently life-threatening menace called “global flatulence”.  This was his recommended approach:

Liberal Logic Snap Shot

Cheese is binding, therefore, it should be consumed in mass quantities to reduce human methane emissions. Left to free will and free markets, it is unlikely that individuals will consume the projected 20 lbs a day necessary to effectively “cork” a nation. This proves that liberty and capitalism are poor substitutes for sound public policy when it comes to providing for the general welfare of the planet.

Al’s Action Plan

To set an example for the rest of the world, the federal government of the United States shall unilaterally require that, under penalty of massive fines and/or imprisonment, everyone (including illegals, who of course would be exempt from the law enforcement component; but fully exempting our Muslim brothers and sisters) shall be required to consume copious amounts of cheese. Several government agencies shall be created, and at least 2 “Fart Czars” shall be hired, to oversee the program.

The repulsive “pull my finger” game popular with Dads across America shall heretofore be permanently banned.


Much of the cheese supply comes from cows, which emit methane gas in great quantities.


Mandatory catalytic converters on all cows. (George Soros has recently purchased a company that makes these devices and he’s offering us a good price on the equipment!) Goat/sheep converters will be phased in over time. Delaying the initial cost of the non-bovine expenditures will be seen as a great victory for fiscal responsibility by Senator Olympia Snowe and her swing vote will thus be “earned” by Harry Reid. We can get this done, folks!


Excessive cheese intake may limit the effectiveness of the First Lady’s ongoing “war on fat kids”.


In exchange for a percentage of Chicago Climate Exchange revenues, Michelle Obama will pick another, non-conflicting cause to champion. No worries, Chicago-style “quid pro quo” is just the cost of doing business with certain people.

Outcome/Call to Action

If this plan works, and it will because Mr. Gore says so, the total cost of saving the world will be approximately $100 Trillion-Gazillion over 1,000 years…don’t sweat the details though.  It’s clearly worth every penny–but we must act NOW or risk irreversible damage to Mother Earth!

As Al stated to me so eloquently, either you support this measure or you want the planet to die. There’s simply no arguing with logic like that!


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Hypothetically speaking…

If the real Jesus Christ were logged on to Twitter today, what would he “tweet” about?  Would you follow him? Would he follow back?  Would he engage or just “broadcast”? Clearly, nobody knows for sure, but it might be fun to speculate.


I know I’m on dangerous ground, so let me preface this by saying that there are no heretical intentions here. I am a believer who tries to live by “The Golden Rule”. My mind simply works in strange ways, and I just thought this particular twist might capture more interest than a piece on “Best Practices for using Twitter Hashtags”. I don’t speak for Jesus Christ and he did not approve this message. My goal here is to inspire creative thinking about social media and make a few people smile in the process. I may go straight to hell for many other reasons, but this post will not be one of them!

Any social media “gurus” interested in this job?

OK, with eternal damnation (temporarily) averted, let’s think together. Assume that Jesus Christ, or “@therealJC”, has decided to open a Twitter account (despite being all-knowing and therefore having no need to do so). What would his strategy be? Who would he target? What would he say? Would he use Tweetdeck to categorize his followers? How would he measure the ROI, or results of his campaign? Again, we can’t possibly know, but I challenge all the social media “gurus” out there to think about how they would help @therealJC grow a following and spread his positive message.

I don’t claim to be a “guru”, so I have no intention of creating a campaign in this post, but I do have some thoughts to share.

I BELIEVE that @therealJC would:

  • “get” the general concept of social media
  • see the benefit of  “going viral”
  • love the testimonials and retweets
  • use many “best practices” to grow his following
  • take the time to engage followers individually
  • inject some humor and personality into the conversation
  • retweet good quotes and links to positive articles and videos
  • follow people who offer “value” and are “real”
  • give lots of #FF “shout outs” to good people and non profits
  • share GREAT CONTENT!

I BELIEVE that @therealJC would NOT:

  • @spam
  • just preach or “broadcast”
  • only talk about Himself (or his Dad)
  • Link to the Bible on every “tweet”
  • pay to get 15,000 new followers
  • purchase teeth whitening products
  • keep following anyone who “auto-DMs” Him
  • tweet excessively
  • follow any politicians (none of them “get it” yet)
  • be negative (He might DM the spammers and false prophets though!)

So what might some of Jesus Christ’s tweets look like?

(forgive me Father, for I may be about to sin)

therealJC Just talked with @DAD. We’re cool now. I saw the big picture and got over the tough assignment. #forgiveness

therealJC @porngal272  FYI…you’re beautiful, but no need for you or anyone else to show me hot pix…nothing I haven’t seen or created before.

therealJC @susanboyle You go girl!

therealJC I still cry every time I watch “Brian’s Song”…how about you? Great movie!

therealJC Love you all, but @chrisbrogan is really a great tweeter! #socialmedia

therealJC #FF shout outs to every community group that helps kids at risk! You know where its @!

therealJC RT @DAD “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.”

therealJC @lazarus You’re welcome. Nice comeback! #gratitude

therealJC RT@Job “Patience is a virtue!”

therealJC @Judas @Pontius @orneryatheist All is forgiven.

therealJC Went to a party and they ran out of just about everything. Problem was solved…no harm done…good time had by all. Who needs a caterer? LOL!

therealJC Do you treat others as you would like to be treated? #goldenrule

therealJC @Job — recommend you connect with @CubsFan and share. #sympathy

therealJC Look past the teeth and $– @tonyrobbins makes some great points!

therealJC Want inspiration? Check out http//www.thebible.com (New Testament section is an easier read!)

therealJC Who is @ashtonkutcher and why is everyone following him?

therealJC about to experience a fantastic meal with the perfect wine pairing– “heavenly” –tweet you later! PEACE! #food #wine #happiness

Summary/Apology/Last chance for Redemption

So, having not yet been struck by lightning and not wanting to overtweet on behalf of @therealJC, I end with this. I don’t presume to know what Jesus Christ would tweet. I wanted to use an unconventional method to trigger some creative thinking. If anyone is offended, I apologize. But this blog post was more about #comedy #Twitter #Web2.0 and #socialmedia than #religion.

Sixteen years of Catholic school down the drain. I hope it was worth it. If you read this, feel free to comment…and pray for my soul!

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I’m officially old. Tonight proved it. But it also exposed something a little less obvious and a lot more significant.

I just noticed (via someone’s “tweet”) that the infamous wrestler/manager Lou Albano passed away at the age of 73. I have to admit that, while I don’t watch professional wrestling any more, when I was a kid growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, my Dad and I did a little bonding in front of the TV.  There weren’t many channels back then. There was no internet. “Exciting” video games like “Pong” and “Pacman” hadn’t quite hit the market. So, when bad weather kept me from playing ten continuous hours of baseball with my friends, television was the primary form of entertainment.

It must have rained quite a bit back before “global warming” kicked in. Dad and I would watch a comical assortment of  ethnically and morally categorized wrestlers bludgeon each other for hours at a time. (“Political correctness” obviously hadn’t been invented yet either.) Albano was one of the “bad guys”. He was loud, obnoxious, out of shape and dirty (literally and tactically). He was one of the people everyone loved to hate.  I had no great affinity for “Captain Lou” or any other stereotypical villains of the “squared circle”.

But, just on a whim and with questionable sincerity, I decided tonight to post “RIP Captain Lou Albano” on my Facebook profile. I also included this comment: “Let’s see how many of my ‘old’ friends remember this guy.” What happened next was absolutely astounding.

Within an hour of my original post, I had accumulated two pages of comments, some (sadly) from people I thought were “just kids”. They didn’t eulogize Albano however. No, much to my amazement, everyone started reminiscing and naming their favorite “old school” wrestlers, personalities and “catch phrases”. The list was extensive and it included names like George “The Animal” Steele, Chief Jay Strongbow, Bruno Sammartino, Pedro Morales, Ivan Putsky, Freddie Blassie, “The Grand Wizard of Wrestling”, Andre the Giant, Killer Kowalski, and of course, the “Pencil Necked Geek” a.k.a. scrawny young announcer, Vince McMahon. It really “took me back” and I caught myself chuckling and waiting anxiously for each new entry.

My roster of Facebook friends is probably typical of most in my demographic category. Mainly married or divorced professionals with kids of varying ages. Bankers, lawyers, IT folks, massage therapists, men, women, liberal, conservative, black, white and brown. Quite a mix of characters actually, and a fun group to boot.

What I found quite intriguing, aside from how willing everyone was to “date” themselves by commenting, was that the conversation bonded us all so quickly and seamlessly. Race, gender, profession and party affiliation became irrelevant. We all just took a break from the “rat race” and jumped on the nostalgia bandwagon. People who have never met in person started interacting with each other.  The business guru from Atlanta talked with the stay at home mom from New Jersey. A hardcore “techy” chatted with a Facebook “newbie” who can barely check his email. It was really interesting to watch.

So what do I take from this experience?

  1. My long term memory is working just fine, thank you. (Now, if only I could remember what I did with my pants!).
  2. My friends are not vain. They clearly don’t care who knows how old they are!
  3. Everyone needs a diversion now and then.
  4. Reminiscing about “the old days” bonds “old coots” like us together, regardless of backgrounds or current circumstances.
  5. A silly pop culture reference from 30+ years ago can trigger a powerful range of emotions and, in my case anyway, fond memories of family and friends.
  6. New media and technology can cause some serious “flashbacks”! (Remember, children of the 60’s and 70’s, it’s not the drugs. Go right ahead and blame Twitter and Facebook!)

So I guess I have to close by thanking Captain Lou Albano and all of his professional wrestling cronies for the years of entertainment which mysteriously yet compellingly resurfaced on my Facebook page. I don’t regret chanting: “Albano is a bum” in 1971, but I do now recognize the significance of the Captain’s contributions to a simpler society and unique TV genre.

RIP “Captain Lou” Albano–and thanks for the memories!

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Several months ago, Susan Boyle’s entire social life and public exposure consisted of singing at her local karaoke bar in a tiny Scottish town. Now, she’s an international media sensation with scores of YouTube hits, Facebook fans and A-list admirers. Oprah can’t book her fast enough. Everyone wants a piece of this lady. It’s really amazing. One performance has changed her life forever.

Everyone knows about the power of television. Most people are catching on to the value and impact of social media. But what message does the Susan Boyle story tell us about business? There are many, but I want to focus on just one: differentiation.

Like most business consultants, I am a huge proponent of pseudo-academic concepts like value propositions, elevator speeches and corporate positioning. What makes your business unique? Why are you special? What do you have that others do not? What needs do you satisfy for your prospects and clients? Susan Boyle’s story is a great case study because it animates and contextualizes these rather dull concepts.

Susan has a great voice…but so do a lot of people we’ll never know. We welcome Susan into our lives because she is clearly “different”. Let’s be honest, she has the proverbial “face for radio”, which is why Simon Cowell and the rest of the world were shocked by her wonderful performance. But beyond the obvious superficial distinctions, her entire story resonates. A poor, middle-aged woman from a remote village nobody’s ever heard of. Never been kissed, let alone had a boyfriend. One shot on the big stage and she NAILS IT!………….. WOW!

Susan Boyle is indeed different. She is definitely unique. Susan is the “Rocky” of the music industry. Her story fits perfectly with the underdog/”don’t judge a book by its cover” formula. She fills a need by making us feel good about ourselves for accepting her on pure merit rather than rejecting her on first glance. She also made us feel that anything is possible, both on a personal and cultural level. She gave us hope for a kinder, more open, less judgmental society. In one night, Susan Boyle became a “BRAND”!

You may think have a great product or service… but is it just another karaoke tune or something very special that is ready for “prime time”? What’s your company’s story? Why should anyone listen? Will you be the next Susan Boyle in your industry? What’s your “WOW”?

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